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Total Recall
(1990)
With: Arnold
Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin, Sharon Stone, Michael Ironside
Paul Verhoeven, director of such inventive
and hugely entertaining sci-fi films as Robocop, Starship Troopers and Hollow Man had one of his best moments when he
directed this clever, action-packed sci-fi flick. Based on a short story by genius science-fiction writer Philip K. Dick (Blade
Runner, Minority Report), Total Recall is a twists-filled story set in 2084. Big Achnold is Douglas Quaid, a construction
worker who, one day, decides to go to Recall (an agency where they implant artificial ‘holidays’ in your mind)
in order to get memories of a 2 week incredible adventure on Mars implanted. Obviously, something goes wrong and Quaid starts
being pursued by numerous bad guys and everyone he knew and loved turns out to be in on the conspiracy. He makes his way to
Mars, where he learns that he has already been there (and not only in his dreams, wink) and that he is in fact a secret agent
whose purpose is to bring down the evil tyrant in control of the Red Planet...or is it? In short, we get a film packed with
action, one-liners, mutants, special-effects and numerous twists. What more could you ask for? The effects were very impressive
at the time and most of them still look pretty good today. As for Arnold, well, he does his best in a film that’s probably
too clever for his usual robotic persona. His one-liners are as good as ever though: ‘screw you!’, ‘consider
that a divoarce’, ‘get your ass to Mars’, ‘You’re not youah, you are meah!’ (lol). The
rest of the cast is brilliantly over-the-top and quite impressive. Overall, this is a film that still manages to mess with
your mind every time you watch it. It’s very entertaining, terrific fun and is definitely one of Arnie’s best.
Overall:
****/5
Batman Forever (1997)
With: Val Kilmer, Jim Carrey, Chris O’Donnell, Tommy
Lee Jones, Nicole Kidman
When the opening titles for Forever begin, it’s instantly obvious that Tim Burton’s dark and gothic
style will not be attending the bat-reunion. Instead, it appears director Joel Schumacher has decided to bring the dark knight
of Gotham into another direction. Val Kilmer takes over the role of Batman from Michael Keaton, who wasn’t too impressed
with the script. Batman Forever is a more sci-fi-ish and campy version of the Batman story and it’s closer to the old
TV series with Adam West than the Tim Burton films. Gotham City itself is a different city than the film-noir Gotham of the
first film or the gothic, snowy one from Returns. In Forever, Gotham is a futuristic city filled with goofy thugs, colourful
parties and fluorescent lights. The first villain we encounter is Two-Face, an ex-honest-lawyer turned psychotic schizophrenic
criminal after Batman failed to protect him from being disfigured on one side of his face by a crime boss. Two-Face (aka Harvey
Dent) is played by Tommy Lee Jones, who surprisingly gives the most demented performance of his career. Sadly, this effort
is a bit stained by the fact that Two-Face is not supposed to be a giggling, Joker-like character. The other villain is Jim
Carrey’s eccentric, insane and campy Riddler (aka Edward Nygma), a scientist with an obsession with his idol Bruce Wayne.
When he gets fired by the latter, he snaps and becomes a criminal seeking revenge from the man who rejected his invention
and ‘cruelly’ fired him. He therefore starts writing riddles and sending them to Wayne whilst forming a secret
alliance with Two-Face. He promises the latter that if he helps him make his Box invention grow he will manage to reveal to
him who Batman is and eventually destroy him. The Bat has undergone numerous changes too, not only does he have a new batmobile,
a bat-suit with rubber nipples and some new gadgets, but he is confused about numerous things: Nicole Kidman’s femme-fatale
Dr Chase doesn’t know if she wants Batman or Bruce, and Bruce has to take care of a young, troubled and angry orphan
called Dick Grayson (aka Robin), whose parents were killed by Two-Face. Overall, Batman Forever is vastly inferior to Tim
Burton’s previous Bat-films: the story is preposterous, the whole thing is overly silly, colourful and light-hearted
and the characters aren’t believable. Having said that, it has some redeeming elements: Robin’s entrance is well
done, Bruce Wayne’s dark side and troubled past remains, The Riddler is terrifically unhinged and it’s all very
entertaining. No masterpiece, but great fun nevertheless.
Overall: ***/5
Batman
& Robin (1997)
With: George Clooney, Arnold
Schwarzenegger, Chris O’Donnell, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone
When Tim Burton left
the Batman franchise it was obvious things would never be the same for the Dark Knight. After the hit success of the first
Batman and its superior sequel Batman Returns, the only way to go was down. And as much fun as Batman Forever was, it was
no match for its predecessors and marked the first sign of the Bat’s decline. Then, with the fair if wooden Val Kilmer
giving the Batsuit to tanned ER doctor George Clooney and Tim Burton leaving the picture altogether (even on the producing
side), Joel Schumacher was finally free to do whatever he wanted, I guess the destruction of Batman was at the top of his
list. Whoever said The Joker was Batman’s greatest foe clearly underestimated the power of The Schumacher! With the
ever-unreliable Arnie cast as the cold-hearted Mr Freeze and the sexy Uma Thurman given the task of bringing Poison Ivy to
life, things were ready to go. Oh yes, and Alicia Silverstone (Clueless) appears as Batgirl. The story is absolutely preposterous
(the Batman Forever story seems practically plausible next to this one) but it deserves a run through nevertheless. There’s
a new villain in Gotham City: apparently he needs to steal big diamonds in order to create enough power of some sort to keep
his beloved wife alive until he can find a cure for her illness…McGregor’s disease (whatever that is!). Freeze,
in case you were unaware of this, has the ability to, well, freeze anything in his path with a rather large and silly-looking
gun which, I’m still convinced is made of empty toilet rolls, shiny wrapping paper, sparkles and tin foil. Meanwhile,
an eccentric scientist with a green thumb (not literally) is murdered by her lunatic megalomaniac boss and becomes the evil,
deadly temptress Poison Ivy, whose goal is to reduce everyone to shreds in order to avenge “Mother Nature” and
restart a world with weird…plant…monster thingies instead of people. For this, she soon pairs up with the Frosty
One and they plan to freeze Gotham along with the whole world (they’ve obviously never heard of a little something called:
the Sun). Thankfully though, Batman and Robin are here to take care of business, sort of. It’s a wonder they find the
time to kick any bad-guy ice, I mean…ass, at all between appearing as guests at ridiculous parties, fighting over Ivy
like teen-agers, ice-skating, air-surfing and taking care of a dying Alfred, it’s gotta be hard to keep up! There are
so many things wrong with this film I genuinely don’t know where to start. Ok, lets start with the cast I guess. Clooney
is wrong, wrong, WRONG as Batman, completely miscast. Granted, no-one would pull off not looking like a dork in that rubber-nippled
Batsuit but still, he doesn’t even try, constantly smiling certainly doesn’t help. Arnie has never looked more
ridiculous (not even in Junior or Around the World in 80 Days), Uma looks amazing and was brilliantly cast as Ivy but the
terrible, terrible lines she’s been given make it impossible for her not to overact her little green-butt off. As for
Chris O’Donnell, he’s finally reached the level of stupidity which the Robin of the old 60s TV series had long
achieved and perfected, which is a shame because in Forever he did a decent job as the Bat’s sidekick. And as for Alicia
Silverstone, she does her best but there are probably hundreds of actresses who would have done much better. Joel Schumacher,
once a respectable director (after all, he did do Falling Down), is embarrassingly catastrophic in his directing here and
he manages to mix mindlessly clunky fight scenes, shamelessly camp (and just plain bad) performances, fake-looking special
effects, plot-holes, neon lights and bright colours EVERYWHERE, laughable costumes, brainless editing, a tiresome score, a
preposterous story, pointless subplots…to create a film which is not only cringe-worthy and unintentionally hilarious
but insulting to anyone’s intelligence and almost fatal to the coolest comic-book franchise there was. At least forever
retained some darkness, some style. All of this is lost here. Instead we have cheesy one-liners agogo courtesy of Arnold
including “cool party!”, “the ice man cometh!”, “freeze in hell!”, “time to kick
ice!” and my personal favourite: “you’re not sending me to the cooler!”. We can laugh about it now
because we have Batman Begins to reassure us that the Bat is back but Batman & Robin still remains a blindingly bad and
ludicrous creation. But if you want to laugh, this is the film to watch, trust me, if the dialogs don’t make you snigger
then the costumes will. The star and a half goes to Uma for sheer sexiness, Pat Hingle for doing his best as Alfred and
Arnold for his “cooooool” shiny contacts. A disastrous yet hilarious debacle.
Overall:
*1/2 /5
The
Matrix (1999)
With: Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Laurence Fishburne
What
is the Matrix? Well, by now everybody knows of course (except perhaps Keanu Reeves whom, I suspect, is still confused about
the whole thing), but when the film came out, everyone was puzzled by the enigmatic posters with had weird green letters scrolling
down over a black background. Then the trailer came out and the film became a must-see. Do I really need to remind you of
what it’s about? Ok then. Thomas A. Anderson lives a double life: by day he works in a tiny cubicle, for a big software
company and by night he’s a computer hacker called Neo. Neo has been trying to find out what is the Matrix and has been
contacted by a certain Trinity who tells him that a mysterious man by the name of Morpheus wants to meet him. But some creepy
Agents seem to be aware of what’s going on and try to make Mr Anderson tell them all he knows. Neo is soon told, after
having agreed to see what the Matrix is and ingested a suspicious red pill, that he’s been living in a dream world all
his life and that reality is in fact much more disturbing. It seems that the real world is dominated by insect(and squid)-like
machines and that the Matrix is nothing but a fake reality, a computer program, a prison for the mind that keeps human beings
controlled so they can be used by the machines as energy. It sounds a bit silly doesn’t it, I mean, when you think about
it? But it really isn’t because the film asks interesting and mind-bending philosophical questions (Plato and Baudrillard
being the main inspirations) that had never been asked in films before. The special effects used in the film and the “bullet-time”
technique are mind blowing and audiences were more than impressed. Keanu’s acting is a bit less wooden than usual and
Hugo Weaving’s wonderful Agent Smith steals the show. It was obviously inspired by Japanese mangas like Ghost In The
Shell (big time) and comic books. And it is, without a doubt, one of the best science-fiction films ever made and definitely
incomparable to its 2 lesser sequels.
Overall: *****/5
X-Men (2000)
With: Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, James Marsden,
Halle Berry
When
X-Men begins you know you won’t be getting camp superheroes in yellow spandex and underwear over their tights. The powerful
first scene, which shows a young Eric Lencher (Magneto) displaying his metal-controlling power for the first time in a Nazi
concentration camp, where he is separated from his parents, starts the film with a dramatic kick in the nuts for those expecting
a lightweight adaptation of the popular Marvel comic-books. The introduction of the characters, from the tough, self-healing
Wolverine to the rather fragile but extremely powerful Rogue is well handled. And unlike the 3rd instalment of
the X-Men films, the new characters aren’t thrown in our faces like confettis. The story is pretty straight-forward,
the world is faced with a new kind of people: mutants. These mutants, who possess different powers, are not yet accepted by
society and they are feared by most humans. A bitter Magneto believes they should accept that they represent in fact the next
stage in evolution and that’s a cause he’s most definitely willing to kill for. The leader of the X-Men, Professor
Charles Xavier (a perfectly cast Patrick Stewart), however, believes that a more diplomatic approach is necessary and that
bringing the humans to their knees is not the answer. He has faith in humans and feels that one day they will understand and
accept mutants. Pretty soon, Magneto exposes his evil plan and it’s up to the X-Men team to face him and save the world.
In the team we also have Storm, who controls the weather, Cyclops, capable of shooting powerful plasma rays form his eyes
and Jean Grey, a telepath with the ability to control things with her mind. Bryan
Singer (The Usual Suspects) may not seem like the perfect choice to direct such a film, after all, he didn’t know the
X-Men comic-books before signing on to do it. But one can’t deny he’s pulled it off and created a strong, serious,
fun, action-packed X-Men film. Sure it has its flaws, most of them instantly visible to those familiar with the comics. Characters
like Iceman and Storm are missed opportunities and are sidelined as well as misinterpreted, this is also the case in the equally
good sequel. Thankfully, the casting is pretty much flawless, with Hugh Jackman brilliant as Wolverine, James Marsden perfect
as Cyclops and Ian McKellen suitably evil as Magneto. The special effects have their moments but do look occasionally dated
already, which is not a good sign. Having said that, this is a very entertaining, well acted, stylish and clever film worthy
of the X-Men which can stand proudly next to Sam Raimi’s Spiderman. Marvel-lous fun.
Overall: ****/5
Vanilla Sky (2001)
With: Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Kurt Russell, Jason Lee
Cameron
Crowe, who brought us such hits as Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous and Say Anything, directs this underrated film, a close remake
of Amenabar’s Spanish film Abre Los Ojos (with Penelope Cruz too). It stars Tom Cruise as David Aames, a pretentious,
obnoxious millionaire who inherited his late father’s fortune and is consequently the owner of 2 magazines. David has
everything: money, looks and an on/off beautiful girlfriend called Julie Gianni (Diaz) whom he treats cruelly without any
regards for her feelings. One day, during a party, his friend brings a girl, Sophia (Cruz), and David falls instantly in love
with her. And just when we feel David might change his ways, Julie appears in her car and tells him to get in: big mistake.
Julie, consumed by jealousy, tells David she loves him just before driving them both off a bridge. She is killed in the crash
(or is she?) but David survives, problem is, he is left horribly disfigured (or is he?). As David tries to cope with his unfortunate
physical appearance (he has to wear a mask and Sophia is uncomfortable with whom he’s become), his life is going down
the drain: he loses Sophia, his friend, Julie appears unexpectedly and haunts his mind and he is arrested for the murder of
Sophia. A psychiatrist (Russell) is going to try and help David remember what
exactly happened. Basically, during the whole film, we see what David sees, which makes it hard for us to understand what’s
real and what’s not, since David becomes increasingly confused with what’s happening to him. Cameron Crowe, it
must be said, has stayed very close to the original Abre Los Ojos but has brought some welcome alterations. The special effects
are obviously better, Tom Cruise is as good as ever and perfect for the role and the whole thing is visually amazing. Also,
Crowe has added an Oscar-winning soundtrack as well as a slightly different, more explicit (but still enigmatic) ending. The
film received mixed reviews and people either loved it or hated it. But Vanilla Sky is ultimately definitely an underrated,
misunderstood, haunting little masterpiece and every time you watch it you notice something different. The first scene is
a particularly unforgettable and brilliant dream sequence that sees Tom Cruise running in an empty Times Square. The
original Spanish version is also highly recommended and is surprisingly just as good as this American one.
Overall: *****/5
Equilibrium (2002)
With:
Christian Bale, Emily Watson, Taye Diggs, Angus McFadyen, Sean Bean
This science-fiction B-movie
did surprisingly very well at the British box-office when it came out. The futuristic film takes place after the end of a
Third World War, the world is under reconstruction and a new system of society has been installed in which people, in order
to avoid the appearance of more wars, constantly take a drug that makes them devoid of any feelings. If someone is suspected
of feeling or is found carrying objects that could provoke a certain emotional response, he is arrested and often executed
(usually by combustion). Everyone acts the same and everyone is ruled by a Big Brother-like leader. The story takes place
in a state called Libria and the system in place is an almost religious one. We follow Clerick John Preston, a professional
government agent in charge of destroying those who resist the rules, even his best friend and fellow agent. Clerick starts
to question his loyalty to the system after he fails to take the drugs one day and starts to feel again, progressively. The
film contains some pretty neat action sequences and the invention of a new form of fighting: Gun-Kata, which is basically
a mix between martial arts and gun-fighting ( in other words, a combination of Eastern and Western fighting styles). This
creation is quite cool and is, unfortunately, one of the only original ideas in this movie. The film was obviously inspired
by 1984 (the leader’s face on screens all over town), The Matrix (clothes, fight scenes), Fahrenheit 451 (cityscapes)
and even Blade Runner (empathy tests, emotionless beings). The film does suffer from a lack of any real innovative originality
but it looks great, Christian Bale is excellent (as usual), the action scenes rock and it’s also quite funny at times
(unintentionally, of course). It’s all very stylish and has some impressive special effects and interesting twists.
Overall, it’s a very enjoyable science-fiction flick that’s way above SF films like Matrix Revolutions or Paycheck.
Great fun.
Overall:
***1/2 / 5
The League of Extroardinary Gentlemen (2003)
With: Sean Connery, Stuart
Townsend, Reta Wilson
Famed adventurer Allan Quartermain (Connery) is recruited
by the mysterious British Intelligence agent M, who wants him to head a secret mission to save the world. M has assemled a
team to help Quatermain including Dr Jekyll/MrHyde, Dorian Gray, the Invisible Man, Captain Nemo, Tom Sawyer and Mina Harker.
They must work together to stop the Fantom and his plot for world domination. It's brainless, silly, at times weak and
confusing but, overall, quite entertaining and fun. Ignore the crappy script and, to quote Allan Quartermain: "I'm shtill
waiting to be impreshed!"
Overall:
**1/2 /5
Minority Report (2002)
With: Tom Cruise, Max Von Sydow, Samantha Morton, Colin Farrell
Steven
Spielberg directs this brilliant science fiction film based on a Philip K. Dick short story. Tom Cruise is John Anderton,
a troubled cop who’s a great believer in the Precrime system in place in Washington DC (the film is set in 2054). This
system is based on the visions of 3 beings, Precogs, who are able to see crimes and murders before they actually happen. The
police is then able, from watching the images created by the Precogs’ minds, to stop these crimes before their occurrence.
But before this revolutionary and (supposedly perfect) system can go national, Lamar Burgess, co-creator of Precrime, has
to prove that it is completely flawless. Then, one day, John Anderton, whilst working on a new vision by the Precogs, discovers
that he himself is going to commit a murder in the near future. He has never met the victim before and has no choice but to
escape and try to prove his innocence. Which turns out to be a really hard thing to accomplish indeed! The film is visually
flawless and impressive with some exciting action-sequences. Cruise is as good as ever and his performance is a powerful one.
Samantha Morton is also absolutely brilliant as the Precog Agatha. John Williams provides an energetic score which adds tension
and punch to the sequences. There are many twists and turns in a complex and clever story that demands repeat viewings. Spielberg,
with A.I., showed that he wanted to go in a new direction: cyberpunk. Minority Report is arguably one of his best films and
is definitely underrated as it is, in my opinion, one of the best sci-fi films of the 21th century so far. Overall,
this is an inventive, thought-provoking, perfectly acted, written and directed, thrilling ride that’s a real treat for
all science-fiction lovers. Wrongly overlooked by the Oscars as well, tsss.
Overall:
*****/5
Daredevil (2003)
With: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Colin Farrell, Michael Clarke Duncan, Joe Pantoliano
After
the huge success of Spiderman, a darker, less popular Marvel superhero had he’s movie debut: Daredevil. When the film
begins, we know it’s not going to be a light-hearted affair: we see our hero, perched on top of a church, bleeding to
death in the night. What follows is his long-ish back story. As a kid, Matt Murdock is bullied and his father, an ex boxer
known as Jack ‘The Devil’ Murdock, is a troubled man who drinks and remembers his past victories with great nostalgia.
Nevertheless, Matt promises his dad that he will not follow in his footsteps and that he will work hard at school. Some time
later, Matt is deceived when he realises his father is working for criminals and he has an accident that leaves him blind
forever. However, his other senses have become incredibly sensible, Matt can hear the slightest sound, smell the faintest
odour and simply by knocking on a surface, this creates a sort of radar effect which allows him to see a bit and keep his
balance. So, Matt works hard and learns to fight, as his strength and agility has increased as well. But, when his father
fails to go down in the ring as he was told to, he is murdered by a certain Kingpin of crime and Matt is left all alone and
wanting revenge. From then on, he will help those for whom justice has not been fair to and punish those who abuse others.
Matt becomes a lawyer by day and a rather violent vigilante by night. As Matt, his power is limited, as Daredevil, his ways
are confused. When a child thinks he is the bad guy one night he was fighting a thug, he knows he has to change. Ben Affleck
does very well as one of the darkest Marvel heroes there is and Jennifer Garner is great, not to mention stunning, as Elektra.
Michael Clarke Duncan’s Kingpin is not very faithful to the one of the comic-books but he is terrific anyway. It’s
Farrell who steals the show though, as Irish villain Bullseye, who has the ability to be extremely accurate when throwing
things. There are also some cool cameos to spot: Kevin Smith, Sam Lee and Frank Miller. There’s much to like in this
film and it’s been wrongly underrated in my opinion. Daredevil is very entertaining and ambitious in its execution.
The special effects are not always 100% but that’s not too dramatic. Admittedly, there are a few glitches and clumsy
bits and pieces in the film but overall, this is a fine introduction to a darker, more aggressive hero. Not as good as Spiderman
but not bad at all. A sequel should help to clean up a few of the minor flaws.
Overall: ***1/2 /5
Cypher (2003)
With: Jeremy Northam, Lucy Liu
This
little known science-fiction spy film was directed by Vicenzo Natali, who made cult film Cube. It’s one
of the best and most clever science-fiction films of the past 5 years. It’s the story of geeky Morgan Sullivan, a normal
married man who lives in the suburbs, who decides to become a spy for a shady corporation. He is given a new identity, Jack
Thursby, and is sent to countless boring conventions and is given a transmitter to record them. It’s clear from the
very start that something screwy is going on. As Morgan progressively changes personality and becomes Jack Thursby, he meets
a beautiful and mysterious woman who tells him that everything is not what it seems to be. The film is neatly directed and
has a Spielberg feel to it in that it’s almost shot in monochrome and is very stylish. The story is absorbing once you
get into it and could almost be a Philip K. Dick story in that twist follows twist and manages to surprise you constantly.
Jeremy Northam’s American accent is flawless and he is surprisingly good. The film also has an excellent score and a
sense of humour which makes the complex plot easier to absorb. It may not be as good as Minority Report or Gattaca but it’s
certainly better than any of the Matrix sequels and I, Robot. Overall, Cypher is an underrated and fascinating little gem
that might become a cult film with time. A must-see for all science-fiction fans.
Overall: ****/5
I, Robot (2004)
With: Will
Smith and Alan Tudyk
After the Matrix "debacle", I feared
the extinction of clever science-fiction films but I,Robot proved me wrong. Directed by Alex Proyas, well known for his
ambitious, impressive cult classic Dark City, I, Robot was one of the biggest summer blockbusters of 2004 (a disappointingly
low on blockbusters year). Will Smith is slightly miscast as the troubled detective Spooner, it must
be said. He fails to eradicate his tiresome "Fresh Prince" persona. Thereore, it is Alan Tudyk who easily steals
the show as the robot murder suspect. This film is not only very entertaining but it is also a tense and intelligent
detective story. From Isaac Asimov, the writer of the cheese-fest and unbearably overlong Bicentinnial Man comes a truly
fascinating and well directed sci-fi film that looks good and feels good.
Overall:***1/2
/5
Spiderman 2 (2004)
With: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Alfred Molina, James Franco, Rosemary
Harris, Donna Murphy
Spiderman
returned in 2004 with an equally entertaining and impressive sequel directed, once again, by Sam Raimi. From the start, it
seems Peter Parker is not doing too well and is finding it hard to handle all his “lives”. He has a lousy job
as a pizza delivery boy but is always late because of his “Spidey duties”, actually, he gets fired very early on in the film. Not only that but he’s not working as well as he should at college since
he’s always tired and can’t concentrate. And to top it off, he lives in a crappy little apartment, he’s
behind on the rent and the newspapers are still against Spiderman. Oh yeah, and he’s still in love with Mary Jane (Dunst)
who’s actually doing pretty well for herself as an actress. Things go from bad to worse as a friendly scientist, Doctor
Octavius (Molina) is turned into a powerful villain nicknamed Dr Octopus, aka Doc Ock after an experiment goes horribly wrong.
Poor Octavius not only loses his wife but the metallic tentacles which were attached to his spine for the experiment, start
to control his every thought. Meanwhile, Harry Osborn, son of Norman, aka the Green Goblin, is still far from forgiving Spiderman
for killing his “beloved” dad and he just gets angrier and drunker as the film progresses. Aunt May has problems
of her own too, financial ones mostly: she doesn’t have enough money to pay for the house anymore and she misses her
late husband Ben, who died in the first film. As you can see, all this is very stressful for our friendly neighbourhood Spiderman
and the stress in question has become so important that Peter is losing his powers as a cause of it. Which is always a bit
annoying, especially when you know an unhinged madman is preparing a dangerous machine capable of destroying the entire city.
In this sequel, Sam Raimi’s stylish, tongue-in-cheek style is more perceptible, especially in the inspired, Evil Dead-ish
scene where Octopus’ tentacles come alive and brutally annihilate a bunch of doctors. There’s even a little chainsaw
involved, and later, “The Chin” himself, Bruce Campbell does another cameo appearance. Some scenes however are
too funny, too tongue-in-cheek and I found myself expecting Leslie Nielsen to pop up at some points (especially during the
out of place Butch Cassidy spoof bit). Sure Spiderman is light-hearted and fun but not buffoon-esque for crying out loud,
calm down Sam. Another problem with this film is the rhythm, there’s far too much emphasis on the M.J. and Peter relationship
and the romantic scenes are overlong and just seem to slow down the film’s rhythm. Having said that, those are the only
bad points of Spiderman 2. The special effects are still impressive even though the “surprise” factor of the first
film is gone. There’s a much better villain (with a decent costume this time) in the shape of Molina’s excellent
Dr Octopus. Otherwise, the story is great and … is completely perfect as Jameson. Overall, Spiderman 2 is just as good
as its predecessor: it’s bigger, funnier and contains some truly gripping action sequences (the train, the bank). Sam
Raimi hasn’t produced a 5 stars-worthy Spiderman film yet but maybe it will come one day, and anyway, I’m not
complaining as the 2 Spiderman films he’s done so far are very admirable
indeed.
Overall: ****/5
Lemony Snicket’s A Series
of Unfortunate Events (2004)
With: Jim
Carrey, Meryl Streep, Jude Law, Timothy Spall, Billy Connolly, Liam Aiken
Based on the first 3 volumes of Lemony Snicket’s
dark children’s books. A Series Of Unfortunate Events has been compared with Harry Potter but to be honest, it’s
a bit of a lazy comparison as they don’t have anything in common except for the fact that they’re for children
and have a certain darkness about them. The film’s opening sequence is inspired and sets the mood for the film: it refuses
to be a happy little story about a happy little elf with a happy little ending. Instead, this is the dark, gothic and gruesomely
funny story of the 3 Baudelaire orphans (Violet, Klaus and Sunny) who lost their parents in a suspicious fire which also burnt
down their home to a crisp. They are sent to live with their distant relative Count Olaf: a talentless actor who lives in
a big, gloomy house. From the moment the 3 children meet the Count it is very clear what he’s after: the fortune they
inherited from their parents. After Olaf’s dastardly plan to get the kids run over by an oncoming train fails, the 3
poor children are sent to live with other relatives: the friendly herpetologist Uncle Monty (Connelly) and the frightened
Aunt Josephine (Streep). But they have not seen the last of Olaf who will do anything to get his hands on the fortune, including
wearing countless disguises and even committing murder. After his great against-type performance in Eternal sunshine, Jim
Carrey is back to his old rubber-face tricks to end the year with a bang. Jim Carrey’s Count Olaf is, however, a much
more likeable and loud character than Lemony Snicket’s creation: in the book, you wouldn’t find the evil Olaf
imitating a dinosaur that’s for sure. Jim is obviously very funny throughout but maybe his rubber-faced craziness should
have been more toned down for the role of Olaf. Still, he has his creepy moments and he assumes 3 different disguises during
the film: Olaf, Stefano (Uncle Monty’s assistant) and an old sailor who manages to "charm" Aunt Josephine, an absolutely
excellent Meryl Streep who has lots of fun with her character. As for the rest of the cast, the main children do a very good
job although Liam Aiken, as Klaus, should try and smile once in a while, since when is Klaus a grumpy little brat? Brad Silberling’s
direction and the cinematography are delightful and very stylish (Tim Burton-esque, even). Think Addams Family, Edward Scissorhands
and Harry Potter all rolled into one. The sets are huge and give the film a surreal quality, as for the costumes, they’re
all spot-on. Overall, A Series of Unfortunate Events is an entertaining, funny and visually beautiful film that will delight
kids and adults alike, anyone with a dark side will enjoy this thoroughly.
Overall:
***1/5 /5
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
With: Martin Freeman, Zooey Deschanel, Mos Def, Sam Rockwell, Bill Nighy,
John Malkovitch, Anna Chancellor
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has been a radio show, a novel (by Douglas Adams) and a TV show,
so it was inevitable that it would eventually become a film. The cult show has a acquired numerous fans over the years and
it looks that they won’t be disappointed with this fine adaptation. It’s basically the story of regular guy Arthur
who is saved by his odd friend Ford (not from Earth) who managed to hitch a ride on a spaceship seconds before the Earth’s
total destruction by some very unhandsome aliens. But DON’T PANIC! Earth is fine, it’s all fictional. Arthur is
thus introduced to the big, very big galaxy and its unusual inhabitants and creations. Soon, Arthur meets some wonderfully
weird characters such as Zaphod, the President of the Universe who has 2 faces and without one of them he becomes as dumb
as a sheep with brain damage. Not to mention the depressed robot Marvin who steals the show whenever it appears. Everyone
is delightfully over the top without being heavy although there is a bit of a lack of Malkovitch, oh well. These days, British
cinema hasn’t been at its best, I mean, when your best film of the year is Shaun of the Dead, you know there’s
a problem. Here’s a British film that’s actually funny and witty as well as impressive and great to look at. The
special effects are excellent and there are some neat stylish moments provided by first-time director Garth Jennings (who
did commercials and music videos). The whole thing is very British and eccentric, think Monty Python meets Star Wars meets
Brazil. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is definitely my favourite British film in recent years, Shaun of the Dead??
Don’t make me laugh!
Overall: ****/5
Star Wars: Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith (2005)
With: Hayden Christensen, Ewan McGregor, Ian McDiarmid Natalie Portman, Samuel L.
Jackson, Frank Oz
Yes,
this is it: the final Star Wars film. After 28 years, George Lucas’ epic sci-fi fantasy saga comes to an end. Episodes
I and II were somewhat disappointing. Both told interesting stories and brought fantastic special effects, cool villains and
were very entertaining indeed. But they were essentially flawed and failed to match the original trilogy’s brilliance.
Now we come to Episode III: Anakin Skywalker gradually detaches himself from the Jedi council, his master Obi Wan and even
his pregnant wife Padme and forms a friendship with the evil Chancellor (who turns out to be the Sith Lord) who becomes his
master and makes Anakin’s transition to the Dark Side complete. Anyone familiar with the previous Star Wars films knows
what to expect and this includes Darth Vador’s long awaited return. I’m glad to say that Episode III is, without
a shadow of a doubt, superior to its 2 predecessors: it’s darker, more impressive, clever and George Lucas ultimately
does a surprisingly great job at tying the ends of the 2 narrative ropes together. I can’t claim that I’m personally
a humongous fan of the Star Wars saga but I must admit that I thoroughly enjoyed this film and was pleasantly surprised, which
is a good thing since I haven’t managed to sit through Episode I till the end yet and was left a bit sceptical after
the slightly better Episode II. Episode III may be the best Star Wars prequel but it is not perfect and isn’t without
its shortcomings. There are a few cringe-worthy bad jokes and geeky one-liners which made me roll my eyes more than once (and
what’s with those droids with the silly squeaky voices?). I must also mention the clumsily written and acted romantic
story (the big problem of Episode II) but thankfully, we don’t get a lot of that in this one. Hayden Christensen’s
acting is still very wooden but, to be fair, he has improved since Episode II, in which he was just plain incredibly bad and
deserved his Razzie nomination. Here, he does his best and proves he can, at least, act evil. Natalie Portman is, well, annoying,
but it mustn’t be easy, I’m sure, to be the only girl in this whole story! Ewan McGregor is, however, quite good
as Obi Wan, Samuel L. Jackson emanates coolness even in the way he walks, Frank Oz is as good as ever as the voice of Yoda
(who, once again, steals the show) and McDiarmid is brilliant as the evil Sith Lord. Everyone kicks butt, even R2D2, who usually
just said ‘blip’ repetitively. Overall, it rocks, and Star Wars fans finally have a prequel to be proud of. Darth’s
brief return is well and truly welcome and the Force was obviously with George Lucas when he made the film. Terrific fun,
this film is. Nerds rejoice!
Overall: ****/5
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
With: Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, Christopher Lee,
Helena Bonham Carter
The
original adaptation of Roald Dahl’s famous children’s book is now seen by some as a flawed, overly positive, unfaithful
adaptation and by others as an underrated cult classic. And since I’m of the latter group, I was undoubtedly excited
about the great Tim Burton making another adaptation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The casting of Johnny Depp as the
weirdest chocolatier ever, Mr Willy Wonka, was obviously very promising as he hasn’t disappointed in any of his past
collaborations with Burton (Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow). Incarnating young Charlie is Depp’s co-star
of Finding Neverland Freddie Highmore, who gives another impressive performance and was definitely a good choice. The rest
of the cast includes Helena Bonham Carter as Charlie’s mum and the creepy Christopher Lee as Willy Wonka’s dentist
father. From the amazing opening titles you just know Tim Burton has got his
magic touch back. Not that he had really lost it but since Mars Attacks! he hadn’t produced a film worthy of his past
masterpieces…until now that is. From the offset, all his best trademarks are at the rendez-vous: Snow? Check. Danny
Elfman score? Check. Spirals agogo? Check. Strangely futuristic machinery operating? Check. This version is a considerably
darker, more twisted one than the original musical Gene Wilder version. First, Wonka himself: Gene Wilder gave a brilliant
performance in the original but he was criticised by some because he wasn’t “weird” or “creepy”
enough. Well, they won’t be saying that about Depp’s Wonka that’s for sure. This one is a twisted mixture
of Ed Wood and Pee-Wee Herman with a dash of Michael Jackson. The Willy Wonka we’re given is one with a troubled childhood,
a constant creepy smile, impossible hair and an undescribable voice: he’s camp, he’s clumsy, he’s disturbing,
he’s hilarious. The film itself is definitely a more faithful adaptation even though Burton does add a lot of his own
ideas (we discover Wonka’s dad) and the ending is much more satisfying than the overly sentimental one of the original.
And what about the Oompa Loompas? Well, you remember the old ones? Basically dwarves with bright orange face-paint, silly
clown clothes and green hair. Well, now the Oompas are a sort of Indian-ish tribe of what can only be described as clones.
And even though their new songs aren’t quite as memorable as the classic Oompa Loompa Song, they are very catchy nevertheless
and much more energetic. Tim Burton has produced his best film in years and it will delight children and adults alike. Overall,
with a brilliant Danny Elfman score, cool special effects, Burton’s unique gothic style and Depp’s delighfully
tongue-in-cheek performance, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a near-perfect, must-see gem that will have you grinning
for an hour and a half. That is, unless you’re made of stone.
Overall: ****1/2 /5
War Of The Worlds (2005)
With: Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Tim Robbins
Mr
Spielberg has always had a child-like fascination with aliens and UFOs. In E.T., we “encountered” (hehe) the loveable
little E.T.: an alien who formed a friendship with some kids and whose main concern was to phone home. Then came the epic
Close Encounters of the Third Kind, the film in which Spielberg’s alien-fixation reached its peak. The ‘Berg even
managed to squeeze in aliens at the end of A.I. for crying out loud! Sadly though, in this particular case, it screwed up
the ending totally, oh well. Now comes War of the Worlds, the new adaptation of H.G. Wells’ sci-fi novel in which Earth
is invaded by evil aliens who want to exterminate and take over. So much for the nice and cutesy UFOs then…The original
1953 film is now a classic and the story is obviously a perfect match for Spielberg’s style. Tom Cruise is Ray Ferrier,
a deadbeat dad whose ex-wife gives him the kids to take care of during the week-end as she and her new husband head off to
Boston. It’s soon very clear that Ray isn’t a very capable dad and it looks like it’ll be a pretty dull
week-end for the kids. That’s of course before they witness an unnatural series of strange lightning bolts. After that,
the electricity gets cut off, cars come to a halt, watches stop. Oh yeah, and a Half-Life-style giant tripod appears out of
the ground and creates havoc by destroying buildings and people thanks to some nifty laser-beams. Ray will have to go back
home, find the kids and get them out of there as quickly as possible. We thus follow this little family (Ray, Dakota Fanning’s
cute little Rachel and Justin Chatwin’s teenager Robbie) as they try to escape and avoid being reduced to ashes. Unlike
the slow-burning Close Encounters, War of the Worlds is quite fast-paced, when the action sequences kick in, they kick ass,
major ass. Spielberg is back doing what he does best: making incredible blockbusters with a mix of jaw-dropping effects and
moving drama. The drama in question is cleverly written and avoids most cliches, we feel like we’re part of that family,
we witness the invasion the same time as they do. This is not Independence Day (argh) or Armageddon (bouargh): overblown productions
in which we see Paris, Tokyo and london getting wiped out one by one and 1 man implausibly saves the whole bloody world without
breaking a sweat. No, here, Ray is not concerned with saving the world, he knows that’s impossible to achieve, his goal
is to protect his family. Ray is terrified but knows he cannot give up. The original film was very general but this is more
focused, we’re not told all the details of the invasion, we don’t know what’s happening in France or Tokyo.
Cruise is as good as ever and the young Fanning is impressive as Rachel. The rest of the cast is great too, especially Tim
Robbins as a creepy guy who gives the family shelter. Overall, this is Spielberg’s best film since Minority Report and
even though the aliens themselves are a bit conventionnal (Spielberg’s obviously read Stephen King’s Dreamcatcher),
the last 30 minutes are slower-paced and ends abruptly, War of the Worlds is still a thrilling, ass-kicking sci-fi film that’s
at times touching, funny, terrifying, nail-biting and simply amazing to look at. Unmissable.
Overall: ****1/2
/5
Lady in the
Water (2006)
With: Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, M. Night Shyamalan
After ghosts,
aliens, superheroes and weird Amish-type people, director M. Night Shyamalan now turns to bedtime stories to bring us sea-nymphs,
wolf-like creatures and even scary monkeys! Lady in the Water is the simple little story of a lonely, stuttering motel owner
called Cleveland who, one night, finds a Narf (sea-nymph) in his pool. Without revealing too much of the plot so as not to
ruin it for you, all I can say is that Cleveland is going to have to find a way, perhaps with the help of the colourful occupants
of the motel, to get Story, the Narf, home without getting eaten by any creepy monsters. As with the underrated Unbreakable
and The Village, Night’s previous film, it takes a bit of time to truly get into the film, but once you do you’ll
be hooked till the very end and when the end credits roll you’ll want to see the whole thing all over again. That is,
if you allow yourself to enter M. Night Shyamalan’s dark, complex and mysterious world. Shyamalan is a director who
likes to take risks, he makes the films he wants to see and that’s it, in Unbreakable, he took his time and told his
obscure yet incredibly clever superhero story slowly and without the need for over-the-top special effects. In The Village
he turned the whole film on its head and gave us a truly audience-dividing twist. And now, he gives us a fantastical tale
like Lady in the Water, a PG-rated tale which kids will, first of all, not really understand and, second of all, find pretty
scary. The rest of us will find lots to enjoy though, if we can be patient viewers and give the Night in shining armour a
chance to tell his original bedtime story. Paul Giamatti is unsurprisingly terrific as Cleveland and Bryce Dallas Howard is
more than perfect as the beautiful, fragile, pure and angelic Story. The rest of the cast is spot-on, with Bob Balaban excellent
as an arrogant film reviewer and Shyamalan himself doing surprisingly well in a more lengthy appearance this time. Lady in
the Water will perhaps lose some of its less patient viewers but admirers of Shyamalan’s stylish, slow-paced, poetic
ways will embrace the story-telling techniques and will ultimately find themselves charmed by it all. Overall, a magical little
gem with truly beautiful moments, strong performances and one of the best directors around at his most inventive and daring.
Charming and haunting.
Overall: ****/5
Superman Returns (2006)
With: Brandon Routh, Kevin Spacey, Kate Bosworth,
James Marsden
After abandonning the X-Men 3 set and leaving us with a
fatally messy and shallow sequel courtesy of Brett Ratner, Bryan Singer went off to the DC side to cook up the next Superman
movie. A lot of pressure was on him and there have been mixed reviews so far but as far as I’m concerned he’s
definitely pulled it off. Superman Returns is the proof that Singer is now very comfortable in the comic-book film genre,
Superman is his graduation as a director of superhero movies. He can now finally join Tim Burton and Sam Raimi in the pantheon
of great comic book movies directors, Robert Rodriguez should follow relatively soon. Superman Returns takes place pretty
much after Superman II, with the Man of Steel returning from a 5 year long trip during which Kal-El tried to find the remains
of his home planet Krypton and left Earth to mend its wounds. All is definitely not well upon his arrival, not only has crime
risen dramatically and wars have broken out everywhere but his old nemesis Lex Luthor is out of jail, free to prepare a new
scheme, and, to top it all, Lois Lane has a child and is taken by Cyclops! Grrr. Feeling more alone than ever, Superman will
have to put his personal feelings and desires aside to save the world from certain mutilation. Casting an unknown to play
the iconic superhero might have raised a few eyebrows but Brandon Routh does well considering he had a mountain of pressure
to overcome. Sure his Clark Kent is nowhere near as geeky as he should be and he fails to outdo the late, great Christopher
Reeves as Superman. Having said that, he gives a more than worthy performance and adds a certain insecurity and even a slight
vulnerability to the Superman character who, even though he is from another planet and has cool powers, spent his whole life
on Earth and has feelings like every human he protects, why should he be so confident all the time anyway? As for Kevin Spacey,
he’s obviously perfect as Lex Luthor and is arguably way more satisfying as Luthor than Gene Hackman who was always
more slimy than evil. Spacey’s villain is crueller and more megalomaniac than ever, plus he adds a welcome comic touch
to the proceedings and thankfully manages to avoid being a complete clown like the old Luthor often was. Kate Bosworth is
certainly a different Lois Lane, for one thing, she’s actually pretty! And not in a bimbo kind of way. You can actually
understand now what Superman sees in her. Good news is, Bosworth’s Lane is not just a pretty face, she’s perfectly
cocky and driven not to mention smart, as she should be. Whereas the old Lois was overly mouthy, average-looking, borderline
annoying and unconvincingly clever, this is the Lois Superman deserves. She feels less like a caricature and more real as
a character. As for the story, well, even though the reason for Superman’s absence is a bit rushed and the whole crystal
in water thing slightly under-explained, none of this matters as Superman stories were always pretty preposterous in essence
and this one is far from being the most far-fetched out there, and it’s all so entertaining and gripping you’ll
buy every bit of it if you let yourself enter this delightfully colourful comic-book world. This is a daring Superman film
that’s not afraid to have its dark moments (cannibal dogs anyone?), have fun (note the wonderful Big reference) and
have a surprisingly long running time (2h30). The critics can say what they want but Superman Returns is probably the best
Superman film so far and is definitely the best blockbuster of the summer, splashing the Pirates out of the water. Superman
Returns is visually impressive, funny, moving, dark, stylish, exciting and its flaws are so mild that they deserve to be forgiven.
The last 10-15 minutes feel a bit long, big deal. I wasn’t bored one second. Superman Returns, and it’s about
time as well! A real treat for the senses.
Overall:
****1/2 /5
Epic/ Fantasy
Conan the Barbarian (1982)
With: Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Earl Jones, Max Von Sydow
This is one of Arnold’s
first proper films. Of course, the first one was Hercules in New York, undoubtedly one of the worst films ever made. This, however, is a respectable and much more decent effort that
propelled The Schwarz to super-stardom. Conan the Barbarian is an adaptation of a book by E.P. Howard (it’s also, more
famously, a comic-book). It tells the story of a young boy, Conan who sees his village burned to the ground and both his parents
brutally murdered in front of him by some evil snake-loving bad guys. The boy is captured and becomes a slave, as the years
pass, the boy becomes a man: Arnie! Obviously, we know what happens next: Conan is going to search for his people’s
ruthless killers and get revenge. Along his way, Conan meets some strange characters and gets into some adventures filled
with sorcery and violence. There’s also an excellent villain in the form of the evil Thulsa Doom. The whole thing, admittedly,
is pretty brainless and there are numerous silly moments, but it’s all so entertaining and so much fun you barely notice
it and enjoy the ride. Achnold’s performance is, well, mediocre, as always. But Conan is a barbarian at the end
of the day, not a neurotic art-lover from Manhattan! And Schwarzy provides just what the character needs: muscles. Actually, his performance is one of his best believe
it or not. What makes this film worth seeing is its originality: the costumes, settings and designs are impressive and the
directing is surprisingly good. I must also mention the music for this film contains one of the best and most energetic film
scores you’re ever likely to hear. Overall, Conan the Barbarian is an underrated terrific epic fantasy that’s
unforgettable and great fun. And to those ignorant reviewers who said it was a ‘thumpingly stupid’ film I say
this: I will crush my enemies, see them driven before me and hear the lamentations of their women! Aaarghaaarghh!
Overall: ****/5
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
With: Elijah Wood, Andy Serkis, Ian McKellen, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortensen, Orlando
Bloom, Hugo Weaving, Liv Tyler
The second part of the biggest film trilogy ever is a much darker affair than its predecessor and things really
start to take off in this one. Whereas The Fellowship of the Ring was all about introducing the characters, Middle Earth,
the story and the formation of the fellowship, The Two Towers wastes no time on all that: we all know the characters by now
(except of course for Gollum), the fellowship is broken and we now get to see how everyone handles things when separated from
the group. Frodo and Sam are still trying to find the way to the black gates of Mordor but they are lost, until they encounter
the snaky, mysterious Gollum, an old owner of the One Ring. When the hobbits first encounter the creepy little monster, he
attacks them and tries to get the “precious” from them. But he is beaten and becomes their guide, Sam doesn’t
trust him one second but Frodo seems to have developed a certain bond with Gollum’s considerably friendlier alter-ego
Smeagol. Meanwhile, Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli are following the tracks of the 2 other hobbits Merry and Pippin who were captured
by orcs. They soon meet the White Wizard, aka Gandalf The White, who has come back to join the battle after defeating the
demon who took him away in the first film. As for Merry and Pippin, they manage to escape the orcs (barely) and find themselves
in an old forest where they make friends with the talking tree Treebeard. Some new characters are introduced apart from Gollum:
Faramir, who we learn is Boromir’s brother and spends most of the film giving the hobbits a hard time. Wormtongue, a
sneaky pawn of Saruman, is also an interesting new character. The Two Towers contains some truly impressive sequences and
the last hour or so is particularly action-packed. The schizophrenic Gollum does steal the show though, not only because he
is one of the best CGI creation there is (if not the best) but also because Andy Serkis’ performance is excellent, he’s
managed to bring to life a rather complex character that’s funny yet tragic and deeply disturbed: Gollum shows Frodo
and Sam what happens when you are completely consumed by the “precious” Ring, and it seems Frodo is finding it
increasingly hard to carry the burden. Overall, The Two Towers is an epic triumph and a worthy follower of The Fellowship
of the Ring, actually, it’s just as good but in a different way. When you get to the end of the second film you feel
like the Shire is so far away and start to doubt, much like the hobbits, if you’ll ever see its green fields again.
The battle for Middle Earth is about to begin…
Overall: *****/5
Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
With: Orlando Bloom, Eva Green, Liam Neeson, Jeremy Irons
When
Ridley Scott made Gladiator he reinvented the epic genre and obviously a whole bunch of epic films followed…and flopped:
Arthur, Alexander, Troy…Now, Ridley has returned with yet another film of this kind (maybe to finish what he started?).
He takes on the Crusades and we follow Orlando Bloom as a blacksmith who eventually becomes the defender of Jerusalem against
Saladin’s army. From the offset it’s clear that Scott hasn’t lost his touch: the film is visually flawless
from beginning till end and the battle scenes are certainly impressive. Unfortunately, the casting of Orlando ‘Legolas’
Bloom proves to be a bit of a mistake. Whereas Russell Crowe was convincing as a tough Roman turned gladiator, Bloom is just
too young and innocent-looking to be convincing as a blacksmith turned great kick-ass leader. His acting is sadly too wooden
and he seems to struggle with the scenes where he has to act ‘tough’. Having said that, admittedly the rest of
the cast does very well although Eva Green and Orlando Bloom undoubtedly suffered an overdose of close-ups during the film.
The endless brooding poses and absorbed stares into the distance are quite distracting and unnecessary. Through this film,
it’s clear that Ridley Scott wants to show that a) not all Muslims are bad and that b) things haven’t changed
that much 1000 years later. And if you can forgive the odd cheesy line, this message is put through quite effectively. Kingdom
of Heaven is certainly much better than Arthur etc…but it isn’t quite as stunning as Peter Jackson’s The
Return of the King for example. Overall, this is a very entertaining and impressive film that lovers of the epic genre will
adore. Just don’t expect Gladiator.
Overall: ***/5
Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006)
With: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Bill Nighy, Keira Knightley, Tom Hollander, Jonathan Pryce
When the first Pirates of the Carribean
film came out, it was a surprise hit. Based on a theme park ride, it introduced the best pirate movie in decades, Keira Knightley
(thanks a lot!), cool special effects, boat-loads of dark summer fun and of course: Jack Sparrow. Director Gore Verbinski
certainly proved he deserved to be respected as an action fantasy director. With a crowd-pleasing Oscar nomination for Johnny
Depp and about $654 million in the pocket, it soon spawned not one but two sequels (the final part due for next summer) and
gave Disney a reason to live again. Dead Man’s Chest, the first sequel to the Pirates trilogy, starts off quite dramatically
with Elizabeth and Will Turner’s wedding interrupted by their sudden arrest. In order to free himself and his beloved,
Will must find Jack Sparrow and return a certain compass to the uptight Lord Beckett. Meanwhile, Jack finds himself cursed
by Will’s father who tells him Davy Jones is looking for him. The latter turns out to be a creepy pirate with a…squid…beard
and a…fishy crew and a…big…squid…thing he can control. Silly? Hell yeah! Fun? Damn right. If you thought
the skeletons were bad, wait till you get a load of these creeps. Very soon, it’s clear that this instalment is a bit
darker than its predecessor, 10 minutes in we have an eye being poked out by a crow and Jack paddling with a poor soul’s
severed bony leg in a casket at night. Oh, and we have a whole bunch of cannibals later on. This is a less-kid friendly and
slightly more gothic affair, it’s also a bit long. I must say though, that I wasn’t bored one second. With the
confident and impressive action scenes kicking in one after the other with gusto and the excellent special effects and score
working their magic, this is non-stop preposterous summer fun. Depp is, as ever, brilliant and his loveable Jack Sparrow offers
welcome comic-relief and a bit of rock and roll. Sadly, Orlando Bloom is as bland as ever and his Will Turner still has no
real personality, he does well during the action scenes though. As for Keira, the good news is she’s much less annoying
than in the first film, um, except for that cringe-worthy bit at the beach, and by the end of the film you’ll still
end up hating her guts, oh well. Surprisingly underrated by the critics, this is a very good sequel that will not disappoint
fans of the original. It all ends in a cliff-hanger so lets just hope the final part is as good as this one and doesn’t
end in a dull Matrix Revolutions-type fiasco. Overall, terrific fun, me hearties, Yahrrrrrr!
Overall:
****/5
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